This browser is not actively supported anymore. For the best passle experience, we strongly recommend you upgrade your browser.
Norton Rose Fulbright logo
  • Global
  • About
    • Back
    • About
    • Our firm
      • Back
      • Our firm
      • Clients
      • Global coverage
      • Vision, culture and people
      • Governance structure
      • Risk management
      • NRF Transform
      • Alumni
    • Diversity, Equity & Inclusion
      • Back
      • Diversity, Equity & Inclusion
      • Our people
      • Recognition
      • Governance
    • Corporate responsibility
      • Back
      • Corporate responsibility
      • Pro bono
      • Volunteering
      • Fundraising
      • Sustainable practice
      • Global charitable initiatives
    • Photo montage
      RE:

      Read our magazine
  • People
  • Services
    • Back
    • Services
    • Services A-Z
    • Key industries
      • Back
      • Key industries
      • Consumer markets
      • Energy, infrastructure and resources
      • Financial institutions
      • Life sciences and healthcare
      • Technology
      • Transport
    • Practices
      • Back
      • Practices
      • Antitrust and competition
      • Banking and finance
      • Bankruptcy, financial restructuring and insolvency
      • Climate change and sustainability
      • Consulting
      • Corporate, M&A and securities
      • Employment and labor
      • Energy
      • Environmental, social and governance (ESG)
      • Financial services and regulation
      • Information governance, privacy and cybersecurity
      • Intellectual property
      • Litigation and disputes
      • Private equity and venture capital
      • Projects
      • Real estate
      • Regulation and investigations
      • Risk advisory
      • Tax
      • Banking and finance
      • Climate change and sustainability
      • Corporate, M&A and securities
      • Energy
      • Financial services and regulation
      • Intellectual property
      • Private equity and venture capital
      • Real estate
      • Risk advisory
    • NRF Transform
    • Transform image

      Find out more
  • Insights
    • Back
    • Insights
    • NRF InstituteProfessional developmentResources and tools
    • PublicationsBlogsVideos
    • EventsWebinarsPodcasts
    • colorful light particles
      Sustainability and ESG

      Visit the hub
  • News
    • Back
    • News
    • Press releases
    • Market recognitions
    • Media information
  • Locations
  • Careers
    • Back
    • Careers
    • Graduates and students
    • Search current vacancies
      • Back
      • Search current vacancies
  • Change
  • Global
    • Back
    • global site
    • North America
      • Canada (English)
      • Canada (Français)
      • United States
    • Latin America
      • Latin America
      • Brazil
      • Mexico
    • Europe
      • Belgium
      • Deutschland (Deutsch)
      • France
      • Germany (English)
      • Greece
      • Italy
      • Luxembourg
      • Poland
      • The Netherlands
      • Turkey
      • United Kingdom
    • Middle East
    • Africa
      • Africa
      • Burundi
      • Kenya
      • Morocco
      • South Africa
      • Uganda
      • Zimbabwe
    • Asia Pacific
      • Australia
      • China
      • Hong Kong SAR
      • Indonesia
      • Japan
      • Singapore
      • Thailand
    • Regional practices
      • India
      • Israel
      • Korea
      • Marshall Islands
      • Nordic region
      • Pakistan
      • Vietnam
Lake in the forest

Connections

Insights, perspectives and viewpoints from our lawyers on topical issues

All Posts Subscribe
print-logo
5/28/2024 4:35:53 PM | 3 minute read

Coming out - my journey

featured image
591

Get in touch

Avatar
Colin Shaw
Head of Learning and Development, EMEA

Get in touch

Avatar
Colin Shaw
Head of Learning and Development, EMEA
591

I grew up in South Africa during the '80s. Reflecting on this now as I write this, as a child, I don’t think I was aware of the concept of being gay – that it was even a ‘thing’. I recall, for years, living with an increasing, overwhelming sense of guilt and shame. Why did I feel this way? What was wrong with me? Why me? I hid it from everyone, or so I thought. I remember being bullied by boys from a visiting school in my early teens for being gay (they used terms I won’t repeat here). They were onto me and my secret... 

I plucked up the courage to say ‘I’m gay’ for the first time to a close friend when I was 26 years old. Actually I couldn’t say the words, so I wrote her a note. I had lived with this giant secret for as long as I could remember - through school, university, and my early career. It’s hard to describe the sense of relief and elation you feel after telling someone who responds with acceptance and support. Trusted friends and allies, never underestimate your impact and importance! Again, reflecting on this now reminds me that I’ve been fortunate to have some incredible women in my life (past and present). 

It took me another two years to finally tell my family. I was terrified. I needn’t have been. They were loving, supportive and accepting. Of course, not everyone’s as lucky.

Today the world has changed so much. We see queer people around us on mainstream media and social media. We celebrate Pride at work. Hopefully this means fewer young people have to go through the long and difficult process so many of us went through years ago. I will never forget the weight of those feelings, the sense of not belonging, of being different. 

However, having said this, I still hesitate before referring to my partner as a ‘he’ in front of a room of strangers (in my profession, a space I find myself in often). In fact, I probably avoid mentioning it most of the time. And when I do, there’s a fleeting moment of doubt, a flinch. I’m sure I blush a little (it happens easily for me). Will this affect my credibility? Will they think less of me? I ask myself why do I feel this way? It shouldn’t bother me, but it does. I guess it’s a journey. There’s still work to be done, and I have a responsibility to do more. 

Driven by an understanding of the importance of role models, I am trying to do more in this space to help others, and myself. To be more visible, to share my story in a way that’s comfortable for me, in the hope that it might help others. And perhaps it will make me more comfortable referring to my wonderful partner as a ‘he’ in front of that room of strangers…

I firmly believe in strength through diversity. Diversity at every level, in every way. As leaders, making sure we create and foster inclusive environments that allow people to be themselves, to feel that they belong and therefore thrive, can only be a great thing for everyone, and good for business.

As co-vice chair of the City of London Law Society Training Committee, working with our chair (Patrick McCann of Linklaters – a personal (gay) role model and mentor) and a group of other incredible, inspiring people, we are in the final stages of building a transformation development training programme for queer-identifying emerging legal leaders. An opportunity I am extremely grateful for, and proud to be a part of. 

If only that young boy growing up in South Africa knew what the future would hold. He might not have been so hard on himself, for so long.

 

Subscribe to our Connections insights Sign-up now

Tags

lgbtiqplus, pride, de&i

Get in touch

Avatar
Colin Shaw
Head of Learning and Development, EMEA

Get in touch

Avatar
Colin Shaw
Head of Learning and Development, EMEA
Key takeaways from MIPIM 2025: Future-proofing data centres
3/25/2025 4:21:32 PM

Key takeaways from MIPIM 2025: Future-proofing data centres

By Kirsty Harrower
As the digital infrastructure landscape continues to evolve, increasing AI workloads present both challenges and opportunities for data...
1
35
36

Latest Insights

Summer reading arrived early: European Commission aims for balancing act in its review of merger guidelines
5/9/2025 8:36:59 AM

Summer reading arrived early: European Commission aims for balancing act in its review of merger guidelines

By Alexandra Rogers Sabine Holinde
Shaping future successes: My takeaways from "An evening with Annie Vernon"
5/8/2025 1:38:17 PM

Shaping future successes: My takeaways from "An evening with Annie Vernon"

By Emma Humphries
Maritime decarbonisation: Current issues facing shipping companies
5/1/2025 1:36:52 PM

Maritime decarbonisation: Current issues facing shipping companies

By Kelli Bodal Hansen Philip Roche
11
11

Explore our site

  • About
  • Careers
  • Diversity, equity and inclusion
  • People
  • Services
  • Insights
  • News

Key industries

  • Consumer markets
  • Energy, infrastructure and resources
  • Financial institutions
  • Life sciences and healthcare
  • Technology
  • Transport

Locations

  • Global coverage

Norton Rose Fulbright © 2024. All Rights Reserved.

  • Amsterdam
  • ●
  • Athens
  • ●
  • Austin
  • ●
  • Bangkok
  • ●
  • Beijing
  • ●
  • Brisbane
  • ●
  • Brussels
  • ●
  • Bujumbura**
  • ●
  • Calgary
  • ●
  • Canberra
  • ●
  • Cape Town
  • ●
  • Casablanca
  • ●
  • Dallas
  • ●
  • Denver
  • ●
  • Dubai
  • ●
  • Durban
  • ●
  • Düsseldorf
  • ●
  • Frankfurt
  • ●
  • Hamburg
  • ●
  • Harare**
  • ●
  • Hong Kong SAR
  • ●
  • Houston
  • ●
  • Istanbul
  • ●
  • Jakarta*
  • ●
  • Johannesburg
  • ●
  • Kampala**
  • ●
  • London
  • ●
  • Los Angeles
  • ●
  • Luxembourg
  • ●
  • Melbourne
  • ●
  • Mexico City
  • ●
  • Milan
  • ●
  • Minneapolis
  • ●
  • Monaco
  • ●
  • Montréal
  • ●
  • Munich
  • ●
  • Newcastle
  • ●
  • New York
  • ●
  • Nairobi**
  • ●
  • Ottawa
  • ●
  • Paris
  • ●
  • Perth
  • ●
  • Piraeus
  • ●
  • Québec
  • ●
  • Riyadh*
  • ●
  • San Antonio
  • ●
  • San Francisco
  • ●
  • São Paulo
  • ●
  • Shanghai
  • ●
  • Singapore
  • ●
  • St. Louis
  • ●
  • Sydney
  • ●
  • Tokyo
  • ●
  • Toronto
  • ●
  • Vancouver
  • ●
  • Warsaw
  • ●
  • Washington DC *associate office **alliance
  • Legal notices and disclaimers
  • Impressum
  • Standard terms
  • Blog network terms and conditions
  • Cookies policy
  • Privacy notice
  • Website access conditions
  • Fraud alerts
  • Modern Slavery Statements
  • Health plan machine readable files
  • Anti-Facilitation of Tax Evasion Statement
  • Suppliers
  • History
  • Remote access
  • Sitemap
Offices and locations

Norton Rose Fulbright © 2024. All Rights Reserved.

  • Amsterdam
  • ●
  • Athens
  • ●
  • Austin
  • ●
  • Bangkok
  • ●
  • Beijing
  • ●
  • Brisbane
  • ●
  • Brussels
  • ●
  • Bujumbura**
  • ●
  • Calgary
  • ●
  • Canberra
  • ●
  • Cape Town
  • ●
  • Casablanca
  • ●
  • Dallas
  • ●
  • Denver
  • ●
  • Dubai
  • ●
  • Durban
  • ●
  • Düsseldorf
  • ●
  • Frankfurt
  • ●
  • Hamburg
  • ●
  • Harare**
  • ●
  • Hong Kong SAR
  • ●
  • Houston
  • ●
  • Istanbul
  • ●
  • Jakarta*
  • ●
  • Johannesburg
  • ●
  • Kampala**
  • ●
  • London
  • ●
  • Los Angeles
  • ●
  • Luxembourg
  • ●
  • Melbourne
  • ●
  • Mexico City
  • ●
  • Milan
  • ●
  • Minneapolis
  • ●
  • Monaco
  • ●
  • Montréal
  • ●
  • Munich
  • ●
  • Newcastle
  • ●
  • New York
  • ●
  • Nairobi**
  • ●
  • Ottawa
  • ●
  • Paris
  • ●
  • Perth
  • ●
  • Piraeus
  • ●
  • Québec
  • ●
  • Riyadh*
  • ●
  • San Antonio
  • ●
  • San Francisco
  • ●
  • São Paulo
  • ●
  • Shanghai
  • ●
  • Singapore
  • ●
  • St. Louis
  • ●
  • Sydney
  • ●
  • Tokyo
  • ●
  • Toronto
  • ●
  • Vancouver
  • ●
  • Warsaw
  • ●
  • Washington DC *associate office **alliance
Policies and disclaimers
  • Legal notices and disclaimers
  • Impressum
  • Standard terms
  • Blog network terms and conditions
  • Cookies policy
  • Privacy notice
  • Website access conditions
  • Fraud alerts
  • Modern Slavery Statements
  • Health plan machine readable files
  • Anti-Facilitation of Tax Evasion Statement
  • Suppliers
  • History
  • Remote access
  • Sitemap
Visit our global site, or select a location
North America
  • Canada (English)
  • Canada (Français)
  • United States
Latin America
  • Brazil
  • Mexico
Europe
  • Belgium
  • Deutschland (Deutsch)
  • France
  • Germany (English)
  • Greece
  • Italy
  • Luxembourg
  • Poland
  • The Netherlands
  • Turkey
  • United Kingdom
Middle East
Africa
  • Burundi
  • Kenya
  • Morocco
  • South Africa
  • Uganda
  • Zimbabwe
Asia Pacific
  • Australia
  • China
  • Hong Kong SAR
  • Indonesia
  • Japan
  • Singapore
  • Thailand
Regional practices
  • India
  • Israel
  • Korea
  • Marshall Islands
  • Nordic region
  • Pakistan
  • Vietnam